Wednesday, December 27, 2017

Anger management: Best tips to control your anger and maintain your cool

Hello, friends are you searching for Anger management tips? then you are incorrect place.

I was also a short-tempered person like you but a small change in my mindset brought a lot of improvement. You can also use this method and control your anger.

Anger management
Anger management

Anger can be mainly divided into 2 types

  1. Short and immediate anger
  2. Long-lasting anger

1. Short and immediate anger

In this type, you will get angry because of a situation or behavior of a person, but you will not have any hatred towards the person. To oppose a situation you will react immediately in the form of anger. This is the most common type of anger which we show on our family members/friends. So now let us see how to control it by just changing our mindset.

Tip 1: Focusing on the solution than blaming others

Let us understand it with example

1(a) – Imagine that you have an important exam tomorrow morning and started the preparation at 7 pm today. As soon as you started the preparation think there is a power cut. In this situation what do you do? 75% of the people immediately start thinking of the alternatives like charging light, candle, torchlight in the mobile, etc

1(b) – Imagine in the same situation if a child or someone in your house switches off the light unknowingly. In this situation, 75% of the people immediately shout at the person who has done it.

If you observe 1(a) and 1(b) the problem is the same. In fact, in 1(b) problem is simple and can be solved by just switching on the light. Still, most of the people got angered in 1(b) but not in 1(a), why?

Because in 1(a) immediately when a problem raised you started searching for a solution without blaming others which you did not do in 1(b). So first tip to controlling anger is to focus on solutions than blaming others.

Tip 2: Don’t expect Humans to be 100% error-free

Let us also understand this with a small example

2(a) – Imagine You have given a white shirt to your family member to wash. They have washed it but you have noticed a stain on the shirt even after washing.75% of us immediately shout at them out of anger. Now, look at the second scenario.

2(b) – You have kept the white shirt in the washing machine for wash and noticed that the stain is not removed. What will you do? Generally, people put it again in the washing machine for a second wash.

So if you observe when a machine didn’t wash properly you didn’t get angry but when a human did you got irritated. why? because you are expecting humans to be 100% error-free, which is very rare. So try to understand this truth and help others in becoming perfect.

Tip 3: Be flexible to change the decisions/wishes

One more reason for anger is the lack of flexibility to change the decisions/wishes. In most cases, this is the big reason for your anger. For example one fine day you have decided to go to a movie and suddenly you got work from your parents/family. In this scenario most of the people get angry.

But if you are flexible, you will not mind it and change the schedule so that you will do the work and watch the movie as well. so being flexible to change the decisions is an important thing to control anger.

Tip 4: Understand that everyone has their own point of view

Almost every one of you might have experienced this situation. We will generally get irritated when someone is not agreeing with our point of view. But think from a broader point of view as you have your point of view others will also have their point of view. So don’t get offended when someone doesn’t agree with your point.

But if a situation comes where you have to argue, try to argue with numbers and facts so that others will agree with you and at the same time you will not get angry.

Tip 5: Dealing with internal dissatisfaction or unfulfilled wishes

One more main reason for anger is internal dissatisfaction or unfulfilled wishes. This is also a common reason for anger.  The specialty of this is that we show anger on someone who is not responsible for it. The solution for this problem is to start working for the wishes instead of developing dissatisfaction and if you are clear that your wishes can’t be true then you have to tell yourself that it is not our fate and many great things are waiting for you.

So forget them and start working for new and better wishes/dreams.

Tip 6: Pranayama/Breathing exercise

There is simple pranayama that will help you in controlling your anger and emotions.

Close your right nostril and breathe in from the left nostril to your full capacity, then immediately exhale through the right nostril by closing the left nostril. After that inhale with the right nostril to your full capacity and then immediately exhale with the left nostril by closing the right nostril. Like this do 4 sets each time and 4 times a day ( 4 x4 sets ) on empty stomach. If you can’t do it 4 times at least do 2 times a day, morning and evening.

pranayama anger management
pranayama anger management

2. Long-lasting Anger

The second type of anger is totally different compared to the first. Here you have hatred towards a person, so you hate the person even if he does good or bad. Because of this, you will lose more than the person whom you hate. Because of this, you will lose your peace of mind.

When you hate someone your mind will concentrate more on how to destroy or do bad to him, than on concentrating on how you can improve your life and become happier. Means you are spending more energy on someone whom you don’t like. Do you really want to spend your energy on someone whom you hate? no right? So if you really hate someone just forget them and concentrate on how you can improve yourself and have a better life.

Finally, I don’t say that you should not get angry. Anger is also important in some situations, but what I suggest is don’t get irritated from inside which will disturb your own peace. Use it only when needed with the presence of mind, which means anger should be in your control. “MAKE ANGER YOUR SERVANT, BUT DON’T BECOME A SERVANT TO ANGER”

Thanks for reading

Kindly share this article so that it can help someone.

 

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